Much Ado About Chucky
by clockworkmyth
Summary: Whilst living in Jennifer Tilly's attic, Tiffany gets inspired to go out and give Glen(da) the childhood he deserves. Before anyone can say "Wanna play?", the dolls are thrust into the goofiest situations! But how long can Chucky go without killing?
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1: Chucky Plays the Bongos

 **AN: Hey guys, thanks for clicking! Don't take this too seriously. I'm just a stressed out student who decided to write everyone's favourite dolls in goofy scenarios!**

On a mild Spring day that had nothing special planned, Glen woke up his parents. "Good morning, Mummy. Good morning, Daddy." He had his usual pleasant smile, but was also holding a sleek flashlight. "I've got a great idea for what to do today!"

Chucky grunted and shut his eyes. They were hiding in Jennifer Tilly's attic, on a makeshift bed. "Whadda you have that for, son? Go back to sleep."

Tiffany was more patient. "What do you want to do, Honey?"

"I found this torch," Glen explained. "Maybe we could explore our new home?" He gestured at the piles of boxes around them. "You never know what we might find!"

Tiffany smiled. "It does seem like a nice way to spend a lazier day. Come on, Chucky, get up. I bet Jen has all kinds of jewelry and purses and CLOTHES!" Each noun was hissed louder and louder.

"Okay, okay." Chucky sat up and glared at his family. "I guess it beats having to shop for an anniversary present." The two dolls got out of bed.

Glen was already scrambling up a cardboard mountain. "I'll start here," he said excitedly. "If any of you need the torch, give me a shout."

"Why the hell is he calling the flashlight a torch?" Chucky growled to his wife, but she wasn't listening. Tiffany had gone to the nearest box and was peeling off the tape.

"Oh, yes!" She squealed and covered her mouth as fabric poked out. "Clothes!"

Chucky sighed and grabbed the flashlight for himself. Maybe he really would find something interesting. He walked over to another pile of boxes, slide his knife from under his overalls, and slashed one open. He groaned as the only treasure revealed was the spines of thick books.

Glen squawked as he fell into a box of Christmas ornaments. "I'm okay!" He called. "Ach-OO! What is this stuff?"

Chucky didn't even glance in his direction. He kept tugging on one thick book until it finally came free. It was just a photo album- a young Jennifer Tilly in Halloween costumes, riding a horse, hugging her grandma. He snorted and tossed it aside. It landed near Tiffany.

She was turning in a circle, letting a satin pink dress wrap around her. "If this was in red or black, I'd die!" She was exclaiming. "What do you think, Chucky?" No answer. "Me too, I really need more red clothing. What's this?" She had seen the photo album.

Tiffany stuck her arms out the top of her satin cocoon and opened the book. "Aw!" she gasped. "How sweet is this!"

"What did you find, Mum?" Glen popped out of the Christmas box, completely tangled in purple tinsel. He was clutching a red ornament.

"It's a photo album of Jennifer's childhood," Tiffany replied, flipping through the pages. "Aw!" She looked up to get her family to look with her. "Hey- oh, Glenda! Let me untangle you." She shed her own fabrics.

"What is this? It's beautiful." Glen showed her the glittery Christmas ornament.

"Oh, Glenda... you don't know what Christmas is?" Tiffany said in a hushed voice. She glanced back at the photo album. Glen barely knew what fun was! "CHUCKY!"

Chucky burst out of a pile of slashed cardboard and junk. "Look what I found!" He held up a flimsy Bongos set. "Fuck yeah!"

Tiffany ignored him. "Chucky, we need to give Glenda a proper childhood," she announced. "Filled with memories, and Christmas, and... and..." she saw the bongos. "Music! That's it!" She rushed over. "Gimme them."

"Back off!" Chucky held them tight. "I found them first. First thing Glen needs to experience besides murder- a PARTY!" Since the drums were taller than him, he hopped into a box in order to reach the tops. Drumming out a frenzied rhythm, the doll began to sing.

"Boom digga-boom digga-boom boom BOOM!" He shouted. "Let's bring down this whole goddamn room!"

"Bop boppa-dop boppa-dop dum DUM!" Tiffany echoed. "Watch out world, here we come!"

"Drumming, drumming, drumming!" The dolls sang as Glen stared. "The Ray family is coming! Drumming, drumming, drumming! The Ray family is coming! The Ray family is coming! The Ray family is coming!"

"Bang banga-dang banga-dang bop BOP!" Chucky bellowed. "You drum now son, and don't you stop!"

Glen scrambled up and started pounding on the drumheads. "Crash, crasha-cash crasha-bash wham WHAM! I this song and I love my fam!"

Chucky was on the floor, whirling around with Tiffany. Their patterings hit peak excitement as all three dolls sang:

"Drumming, drumming, drumming! The Ray family is coming! Drumming, drumming, drumming! The Ray family is coming! The Ray family is coming! The Ray family is COMING!"

AN: The Drumming Song is from the old Backyardigans show! If you read til the end of this chapter, thanks! Maybe leave a review?:)


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2: Chucky Gets Some Rest

 **AN: Hey guys! Thanks to someone for the lit review!**

The three dolls were all nestled together against a box, exhausted, but happy. The attic was a complete mess.

"See?" Tiffany spoke up. "That's what life is supposed to be like, Glenda." She squeezed his arm. "Full of laughter and dancing. And fun!"

So far, Glen had only really known humiliation and sadness. He still woke up from nightmares, and not his usually violent ones. He'd hear the laughter grating in his ears, smell warm beer and and feel a hollow, heavy pain. He smiled. "It really was fun. I'd say... even funner than killing?"

Tiffany glanced at Chucky, who growled, "It's subjective."

"Chucky, you just have to accept that your daughter doesn't have the same interests as you," Tiffany said patiently. "It's our responsibility to provide her with the fun she deserves."

"Fine," Chucky growled, just to shut her up. "Glen? What do you find fun?"

Tiffany got up. "We have to follow this photo album." She showed her family the various pages. Young Jennifer was hugging Mickey Mouse, jumping into a pool, and dressed as Debbie Harry. "Jennifer had such a wonderful childhood and look how she turned out! Come on, Chucky." She saw his face. "Don't you remember having fun as a kid?"

Chucky raised a scarred eyebrow. "I killed animals and set things on fire."

"That's horrible!" Glen put his hands over his mouth.

"He also wet the bed until he was sixteen," Tiffany hissed. "Now ANYWAY, don't these things look fun, Glenda?"

Glen flipped a page over apprehensively. "I don't know," he admitted. "I've never been in water before... or dressed like that..." He stared at her with friends, on a roller coaster. "What is that?"

"You've never been on a roller coaster? Jesus." Chucky shook his head. "You're right, Tiff. The kid's gotta get out there and see the world." He put his arm around his kid and continued, "I'll take you to the biggest, fastest coaster there is, son. I've always wanted to try killing someone while upside down."

"Chucky," Tiffany chided. "We don't have to kill anyone- just go out and explore!"

Glen glanced around. "Shouldn't we clean up?"

"Jesus, what has gotten into you two?" Chucky threw his arms up. "First I can't have MY fun, but now we're cleaning like fucking maids too? The bitch never comes up here. It doesn't even matter. Do whatever you want, but I'm going back to bed." He got up and stomped back to the little bed.

Glen stifled a giggle. "Thanks, Mummy. This really was fun. Are we really going to go out there and experience more?"

"You betcha, sweetface." Tiffany stood up and winked. "In fact, I think the first thing we'll do is take a little vacation! You've been on a plane, right?"

"Only the luggage compartment."

Tiffany grabbed her leather jacket and slid out a handful of pills. "I've been sneaking these from our hostess. We'll give them to your father. Then he'll HAVE to come with us!"

"Don't you think that's immoral? Drugging him like that?" Glen peeped. "Why don't we just wait for him to wake up and then discuss what to do as a family?"

"Darling, communication is the one way to really mess with your family," Tiffany explained. "How about you pick out the photos you'd like to recreate, and I'll take care of your father. We'll leave in five minutes."


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3: Chucky on a Plane

 **AN: thanks for the reviews guys, I appreciate it! I'm just doing this to kill time, but I'm glad some of you are having fun!**

Ten minutes and one taxi ride later, the dolls were cruising through the airport. Tiffany was carrying her makeup bag. Behind her, Glen dragged his snoring father on a large dish towel.

They stopped in front of a screen that was filled with flight times and destinations. "Well, sweetface?" Tiffany gestured. "Where do you want to go?"

Glen gazed at the massive board with its constantly changing times and flickering lights. His eyes flicked from Hawaii to Paris to Dubai. "I don't know," he admitted. "Why don't we just hop on a random one and see where it takes us?"

"Great idea." They proceeded through customs. Glen and Tiffany hoisted Chucky into a plastic tub before hopping into their own.

When Glen popped out from the other side of the x-Ray, he sighed in relief. He hopped out and tried to push his tub to the end of the belt, but slid on the rollers and fell off.

"Hold it! Whose doll is this?!" A guard called. They hold up a slumbering Chucky by one arm.

No one moved. The guard pulled out a huge kitchen knife from under Chucky's overalls and the crowd gasped.

"Oh..." Tiffany squeaked as she shuffled over. "This must be some kind of joke. You can take the knife, but please let us through."

Luckily, since they weren't hiding anything else, the doll family proceeded to the gates.

"Daddy's not going to be too happy when he wakes up," Glen huffed as he dragged Chucky along.

"Don't worry," Tiffany said. "That won't stop him."

"What?"

Glen couldn't believe the rush in this place. People were striding with purpose in every direction, backpacks hastily slung over their shoulders and dragging massive suitcases. Little children had suitcases with cartoon characters and brightly coloured wheels. It reached a peak for Glen when he saw the conveyer belts. "Aren't people moving fast enough?"

"This is perfect." Tiffany took the edge of the dish towel from her kid. "He's going to wake up any second. Help me get him on that thing."

As soon as they sent Chucky off, a dozen more people followed with a dozen more suitcases.

"WHAT THE FUCK?!" Chucky bellowed. "TIFF?! GLEN?!" He caught sight of Glen and started shoving his way back. However, because he was going against the conveyer belt and people weren't moving for him, it wasn't going very well. "WHERES MY KNIFE?!"

"Let's find a gate," Tiffany said breezily, right before shooting off into the crowds.

Half an hour later, the Rays had boarded a plan. Chucky sulked in the aisle seat, Tiffany was curled up in the middle and Glen had the window.

"So you don't even know where we're going?" Chucky grumbled.

"Relax," Tiffany sniffed. "It'll be a family adventure."

"I'll show you an adventure," he growled. "Why, I'll-" he broke off, noticing a staring flight attendant. "Hey, babe."

Tiffany sighed.

Throughout the flight, Chucky drank a good amount and kept watching people get up for the restroom. Tiffany kept a tight grip on him at all times. Eventually, she fell asleep and slipped off him, but he grabbed her right back. There was a bit of turbulence.

Glen stared out of the window the entire time; he didn't even notice the turbulence. He wondered if he'd ever get to know what those massive, fluffy clouds felt like.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4: Chucky and the Touch Tank

 **AN: I can't believe this story is actually getting traffic! What are y'all doing?**

"Where the FUCK are we?"

Outside of the tiny airport, there was nothing but lush forest. A road that was dark and slick with rain water led off to the unknown.

Tiffany shuddered as she saw people stomp through puddles outside, to a parking lot. "This isn't really what I had in mind."

Glen had his nose pressed against a large window. He had never seen so much green in his life. He had never seen so many raindrops coming down at once. "Mummy! Daddy! There's a shuttle bus with people getting on. Maybe we should follow them."

Tiffany shook her head. "There's no way I'm going out in that weather. We'll just have to wait for another flight home."

"And do what? That could take hours," Chucky whined. "I agree with the kid. At least I'll get an opportunity to kill-..." he stopped himself. "Uh, kill time."

"Please, Mummy?" Glen batted his feathery eyelashes.

Tiffany gave in, but four hours later, all three were starting to regret it. Four hours of leafy blur in the windows on an unpaved road.

"This is taking us to the middle of nowhere!" Tiffany wailed. "Look around." People were either asleep, or absorbed with their phones. "Everyone's dressed like they're here to fucking hike."

"What's a hike, Mummy?"

"It's taking a long-as-shit walk in the woods," Chucky said.

"Can we take a hike? That sounds fun. Oh, maybe we'll see a deer!"

The bus driver slammed on the brakes. The three dolls were thrown into the backing of the next seat. Tiffany fell on to the muddy floor. She screamed like a cat.

"Aight folks, we're here!" The toothless bus driver announced. "Welcome to Canada's Off-fish-al Marine Life Sanctuary and Research Centre!"

"I already heard something howl nearby!" A young man exclaimed.

Glen was one of the first off the bus. It started him how rich and fresh the air felt in his nose. There were dark shapes sliding gracefully in the sky and the smell of rain and fertility was wonderful. There were small buildings scattered about, and then never-ending forest.

He wanted to hike right away, but his parents insisted on drying off in a building first. They scuttled into the first one and got the lights working.

There was a low humming from the corner and the shelves were stuffed with jars. The dolls shuffled over to the humming- it was coming from a large tank with no top. They clambered up and peered inside.

"It's like a mini ocean!" Tiffany squealed with delight.

Barnacled rocks, shells and slimy plants littered the bottom as crabs scuttled everywhere. Fat red sea cucumbers curled next to starfish and urchins.

Glen's jaw had completely dropped. "It's so beautiful!" He touched the freezing saltwater and gasped as a white anemone tendril grabbed his finger. "Hello!"

Chucky and Tiffany watched as Glen travelled around the edge, poking urchins and crabs. "Is this what the whole ocean is really like?"

Tiffany smiled. "Some of it, I guess."

"Guys!" Chucky barked. Through the window, a young woman was opening the door. He shoved Tiffany to the ground and they crouched under the shelf. "Glen?!"

He had been too slow. Glen froze as the lady entered and stopped short when seeing the doll in the touch tank. She picked up him and looked him up and down. Glen dripped water all over the floor.

"What the hell?" she muttered, oblivious to Chucky and Tiffany sneaking around her. Chucky cracked his knuckles and grinned.

"No!" Glen screamed, just as his father pounced.


End file.
